My mom's cousin, Barbara, married Elder L.Tom Perry when she
was 42. She had been single her whole life before that. I knew her growing up
because she was so interested in/concerned about her family. And that didn't
change when she got married. For as long as I've known her she's been married.
Nevertheless she knows me, always knows me by name when there are family
gatherings and always knows what's important in my life. I know she has been
very active (and was before she got married) in all of her nieces' and nephews'
lives--and she has a very large family! She was successful in her career in
nursing and became a professor at BYU while she was single. I used to look at
her as an inspiration because I thought no matter how long we're single it will
definitely pay off in the end. Besides I often think that it's easier to be
single in our generation--I think it would've been harder for her in the '60s
& '70s.
As I've gotten older, I've been very concerned about
polygamy and marrying a man who is still sealed to another woman even if she is
dead. I emailed Barbara to ask her how she feels about it. She told me that she
has definitely wondered about that same thing. But she says that Tom makes her
feel like the most important person and has definitely always made her feel
like the only one. She is very encouraging to me. Her faith and optimism and
energy are encouraging for me to think about. Her husband is very respectful of
her; I remember once when they were at my mom's house and were about to leave.
I was in the other room doing something, and he came in where I was and
demanded that I come to say goodbye to Barbara because he thought it was
disrespectful not to--and of course Barbara just said "oh Tom" like
she always does. She gives me hope that I could actually stomach the thought of
being married to a man who was married to someone else. She is always doing
good and making time for the things that are important.
From Anne-Marie Waddell
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